Sexy Slogans With a Bite

Some risqué slogans that follow Bon Appétit’s recent “Bite Me” campaign.

• Guns & Ammo: Bang me.
• Guitar Player: Twang my flanger.
• American Cowboy: Whip me.
• Tattoo: Prick me.

And let's not forget our animal friends. "Shake my tail feather" for Bird Talk. "Multiply with me" for Domestic Rabbits. Horse and Rider: "Saddle me up." Cat Fancy: Stroke me. (Editor's note: This is a cleaned-up version of what Mr. Tree originally wrote.) Dog Fancy: Pet me. (Editor's note: Another cleaned up version.)

Business-to-Business Publications

But we can't let consumer titles have all the fun. For a hot time in the B-to-B world, let's try:

• Deliver: Lick my stamp.
• The Deal: Buy me.
• FireRescue: Come on, baby, fight my fire.
• Citrus Industry: Squeeze me. (Editor's note: Mr. Tree's version included a lemon, but we soured on that idea.)
• Turf: Talk dirty to me.
• Security Management: Pat me down.
• Binding, Finishing & Distribution: Dotwhack me. (Alas, BFD folded a couple of years ago. And not many people in our industry know what a dot whack is anymore.)
• Archaeology: Dig me.
• Mass Transit: Pick me up.
• The Carpenter Magazine: Nail me.
• Playground: Swing with me.

(Editor's note: We removed the slogan for Vacuum International. Trust us, it sucked.)

Journals

Even the staid world of journals can get into the act, unnatural as it may be:

• American Journal of Acupuncture: Poke me.
• Journal of Criminal Justice: Handcuff me.
• Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery: Tweak my cheeks.
• Journal of Seismology: Make the earth move under my feet.

Of course we need a hot slogan for Publishing Executive. (Noelle, I know your sales staff wanted this to be "Buy a two-page spread from me at no discount off the rate card," but don't you think that sort of misses the point? Given the magazine's practical orientation, how about "Find success between our sheets"?)

As for Dead Tree Edition, I'm going with "Climb on me." Don't like that? Then bite me. PE

D. Eadward Tree is the pseudonymous Chief Arborist for Dead Tree Edition, recently named by industry commentator Patrick Henry as one of the top 10 blogs for printers and publishers. Mr. Tree is an old print dinosaur who doesn't know his RSS from a hole in the ground, but pay him a few bucks for an article and all of a sudden he thinks he's some kind of new-media pundit.